All for One
by angel1983
Summary: "You're not unworthy, you are not unworthy", was the soft chant and Athos realized that it was Aramis who held him in his embrace. - My take on how Athos reveals Milady's involvement with the Cardinal. Takes place between E9 and E10 of Season 1
1. One for All

**A.N. I absolutely seemed to have fallen in love with The Musketeers and find myself trying to fill every gap in the show. This is between episodes 9 and 10 of season 1. My version of what happens when Athos tells them about Milady. True there seems to be no outward indication that Athos ever tells Porthos and Aramis about Thomas and his death, so this might be considered an AU. It is supposed to be a two parter with D'Artagnan's own revelations of Milady coming up next. I couldn't resist writing this when I watched E10. Luke Pasqualino was amazing in the opening scene when he tried to explain how he knew Milady and I've to admit I believed his fight with the other Musketeers genuine.**

"Was that wise I wonder?" The question on caution seemed so absurd coming from the normally rash and imprudent young man that for a moment his three older companions could only gape at him.

"What?" he returned indignantly, "I can be careful if the situation warrants it"

When he received no response beyond three raised eyebrows the youngest of the group huffed, then waved his hands asking the oldest among them to continue. And the other man decided to do so taking pity on their newest recruit, but unable to resist the slight upturn of lips in what constituted – for him at least – a grin.

It was late in the evening and the four Musketeers found themselves back in the garrison after a long and trying day. Athos had, in the privacy of his own rarely used rooms, recounted what had transpired between himself and the Cardinal after the others had left the palace. He understood the validity of D'Artagnan's urge to caution and was proud to note that the young man in front of him was no longer the brash youth who he had met in the not so distant past seeking revenge for his father's death. Porthos had been right; he silently acknowledged to himself. Experience it seemed had tempered the lad's recklessness and had allowed him to bloom into a mature, almost levelheaded soldier. Still, heedless or not, Athos himself had been unable to resist his thinly veiled threat to the Cardinal at the First Minister's audacity to have the Queen of France murdered.

"So what now?" the quiet question from Aramis stopped Athos' wandering thoughts, but it was D'Artagnan who answered, "It's simple. We find this woman Athos keeps talking about and get her to turn against the Cardinal".

"That as I warned you earlier would be neither simple nor easy", Athos interjected. His wife was not someone to be underestimated and he would be damned if he allowed her to harm another one of his brothers. Giving himself an internal shake to stop himself from contemplating all the destruction Anne had wrought over the years, Athos turned back towards his friends knowing in his heart that the next few minutes were to be some of the most unpleasant of his life.

Either his stoic mask was slipping or his friends had learnt to read him better than he had thought for when he looked towards them he realized that they had just finished some sort of a silent conversation and even now Porthos had gotten up to find a bottle of wine Athos seemed to keep stashed everywhere. Finding four glasses the big man poured some for all of them his eyes silently encouraging the older man to drink, before continuing with what they instinctively seemed to understand was a difficult conversation.

Athos tipped his head in gratitude, needing the liquid courage to open up to his companions about his past. Despite the love and respect the other two and more recently D'Artagnan had shown towards him, he still found it difficult to believe they would not be repulsed by his involvement in the execution of the woman he had once professed his heart to. Even though he had to admit D'Artagnan at least seemed not to condemn him for his actions.

Speaking of his young friend; Athos observed curiously as the Musketeer seemed almost lost in thought – head bowed, brow furrowed – he was the very picture of serious reflection. Then lifting his eyes to meet that of his mentor's he summed up the situation in one word, "Damn!"

In truth Athos was not entirely surprised that D'Artagnan had without being told explicitly discovered the identity of the Cardinal's assassin. He was after all well aware of her penchant for killing, having foiled her attempt to have her husband murdered.

He allowed himself a very small smile of pride at his friend's perceptiveness. Almost a year ago such contemplation from the young man would have seemed an impossible task, as he appeared more eager to act rather than to step back for a moment and assess the situation. He met the youngster's eyes and was almost amused to see a blush covering his face.

So far Porthos and Aramis had chosen to stay out of the silent exchange between the youngest and oldest members of their company. They were no doubt curious but they had given the older man time to gather his thoughts and gain control of his emotions and the former nobleman was grateful for that. He was also, however well aware that the conversation could not be postponed forever. Deciding to keep things simple Athos responded to their almost silent inquiry with, "The Cardinal's spy is my wife".

Stunned silence greeted his words. The other two seemed momentarily at least incapable of saying anything to this damning pronouncement. Well aware that the silence would not last long, Athos nevertheless almost flinched when Aramis' voice broke the quiet, "I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that", the marksman enquired. "I thought I heard you say she was your wife". Athos tipped his head in acknowledgement foregoing speech as he was unsure of how steady his voice would be. There was only so much he could take before even his almost legendary control over emotions slipped.

"I thought you told us she was dead", Porthos bless him had instead of beating around the bush gotten straight to the point.

Athos sighed. While the question was valid, he hadn't indeed been lying when he had told the other two that the woman he loved was no more a part of this world. He feared however that neither Aramis nor Porthos would take too kindly to not being made aware that he knew his wife formed part of the land of the living once more. Especially when they figured out that…

"Wait, you knew about this", right on cue Aramis posed the question to D'Artagnan causing the youngster to squirm silently. He like his mentor was afraid of the reactions of his friends to their being excluded from this secret.

Aramis and Porthos did not become Musketeers only because of their ability to fight. They were excellent strategists and could match minds with some of the best in Europe. Athos was well aware of this and wasn't entirely surprised when they put the pieces together of how and when D'Artagnan had become privy to the existence of Anne. "That night in Pinon when D'Artagnan wen' back for you and the gash on you' 'ead the next day", Porthos commented, voice almost distant, lost in thought. "That was when you knew", this was stated more as a fact than a question.

"Yes", D'Artagnan admitted when the gaze of the other two became fixed on him, understanding that despite the fact that they knew what happened they were waiting for some sort of a confirmation from him. However before he could speak further in his own defense his mentor came to his aid.

"D'Artagnan is not to be blamed for keeping the truth from you", Athos told them softly. "He only followed my own instructions. I was the one who did not want you to know", he admitted shouldering the blame for their lack of knowledge of what had transpired in Pinon.

"Athos my friend", Aramis began his voice equally soft, "You did not at the time nor do you even now owe us any sort of explanation. While I would admit freely that neither I nor Porthos are happy about being in the dark as far as your past is concerned that is more out of a desire to see your burdens shared. Neither of us are upset with either you or D'Artagnan for not telling us about what occured in Pinon", he finished leaving the older man stunned at his friends' capacity for forgiveness. However he was almost certain that what he was about to reveal would test even their resolve.

"Her name was Anne…", he began before realizing that he had become slightly choked up; his bottled up emotions threatening to get the better of him, threatening to bubble to the surface. Aramis held up a gentle hand to stop him and Porthos poured him another glass of wine.

Athos took a deep breath and swallowed the glass of alcohol in one go. Shaking his head when it looked like Aramis was going to interrupt him again and knowing that he had to do this before his courage failed him he began once more to recount the events that had taken place five long years ago. Once again silence greeted the end of his tale and Athos was shamed to admit to himself that he lacked the courage meet his brothers' eyes. Head still bowed he let the tense silence envelop him, not daring to look up even when he heard all three of them rise to their feet from where they had been sitting around the small table. So they had decided to abandon him. After all it wasn't anything he did not deserve. He was the reason Anne even existed to cause so much pain to the ones he loved.

Aramis and Porthos were seasoned warriors. Battle hardened soldiers, it took a lot to rattle them but Athos even after five years of knowing him as well as they could given his reticent nature seemed capable of stunning them into silence. D'Artagnan, Aramis noted was also silent but for reasons different from their own. While the young man adored Athos and tried to emulate him in all things, it would seem he was yet to learn the art of dissimulating his emotions from prying eyes. For now Aramis was able to read clearly the struggle the lad went through at wanting to but not being able to because of his fear of rejection, give into the almost overwhelming desire to comfort his friend, to be able to take away his pain; a desire all three incidentally shared. Capitulating to his emotions he nevertheless began reaching out to the swordsman but was stopped by Aramis gently touching his hands. The marksman saw the reproach in the younger man's eyes at being interrupted in his efforts to console the older man.

Once again a silent conversation seemed to take place between the three men and reaching a decision, without conscious thought all three stood up never even contemplating the effect the action would have on their brother.

Athos meanwhile seemed to be drowning in his own emotions. Laying his soul bare to his friends had not been an easy task and their lack of acceptance that what he had done was a necessity and not a crime whilst not entirely surprising was still a blow to his already weakened heart. So when he heard the door close as his friends left him a choked sob escaped him and he felt more disgust at his inability to control his emotions even if there was no one to observe his weakness. Believing himself alone Athos gave into his desire and let the tears escape him and was momentarily shocked when he felt someone seat themselves beside him. Strong arms encircled his torso and Athos tried to resist the almost overwhelming desire to give in and for once let someone else comfort him trying to pull away, believing himself unworthy of the kindness being shown towards him.

The other person however would not let him escape their hold and only pulled him tighter towards their chest, carding their hand through his hair. "You're not unworthy, you are not unworthy", was the soft chant and Athos realized that it was Aramis who held him in his embrace. The marksman when he had first heard Athos sob had felt tears pooling in his own eyes and had quickly sat beside him and pulled him into a tight hug for once not caring that his friend was not the type to seek comfort in others. When Athos had begun to cry however and had called himself unworthy he had felt the dam break on his own emotions. That the man in front of him carried the weight of guilt on his shoulders was not unknown to anyone who got to know him and hearing the tale of everything that had so far happened in his life Aramis understood his friend's need to turn to the bottle every night. However he would be damned if he let his brother in all but blood believe that he was unworthy of being cared for by others. Instead he ran his fingers through the other man's hair letting him know by his words and actions that he cared; that he would always stand by him; that he would always and forever have his love. He gave a relieved sigh when instead of pushing him away his friend allowed himself to accept the comfort given to him.

Sobs tore out of Athos' throat at the other Musketeer's comforting words and actions. Without giving conscious thought he surrendered for once to his desires and let himself drown in the arms of one of his closest friends and cried his heart out.

A few minutes later Athos' tears stopped and as he pulled away he felt the burn of embarrassment in his throat. However before he could say anything Aramis' firm voice interrupted him. "Don't. Just don't", the unofficial medic of their group told him not even bothering to hide his tears or his own emotions. For a moment Athos considered being difficult, but once again gave in with a graceful dip of his head. Instead he chose to change the subject entirely. "Where are Porthos and D'Artagnan?" he asked the younger man his voice slightly hoarse from all the sobs. "Food", was the short reply he received even as Aramis held out a glass of water for him. "Drink that and eat some food before you hit the damn bottle", he added almost crossly then sighed as Athos raised an eyebrow.

"You are a damn fool", he told the older man gently in an almost amused tone, a small smile gracing his features, even as he tried to sort out his own thoughts and emotions. When the other man let his displeasure be known on his face Aramis' grin only widened. "Yes. You are a damn fool", he repeated not at all caring that his friend seemed offended, almost angry. "How else could you believe yourself unworthy of our affections", he asked him his voice turning serious. "So yes I'm upset my brother", he told him not even trying to hide the frustration and sadness he felt. "We – D'Artagnan, I and Porthos – love you with all our hearts Athos. Nothing you have done in the past, nor anything you could do in the future could ever cause us to ever renounce you. We would never ever stop loving you. In short my friend you are never shaking us off", he finished with a grin knowing that Athos would remember his own words to them all those months ago at the gallows.

For a moment Athos once again felt the now tenuous grip on his emotions slip as tears once more pooled his eyes. Swiping at one that seemed to have escaped its confines and slipped down his cheek he got to his feet, went to his friend and pulled him into a hug relaxing and almost melting in joy when he felt the other man place a soft kiss on his forehead. Pulling back he let the marksman for once see the raw emotion in his eyes, begging for forgiveness at having doubted their love for him. A moment passed then both simultaneously let each other go, trying to compose themselves before the others returned.

And return they did just a moment later almost as if they had known it was the right time to do so. If the other two noticed the wetness of their eyes or the heavy emotion that seemed to hang in the air around them, neither of them said a word and Athos was grateful for it. Instead acting as if it was a normal evening where nothing out of the ordinary had happened Porthos handed out bowls of stew, while D'Artagnan poured them all some more wine. Athos knew that the day was yet to end. They still had a lot to do if they wanted to find Anne and put a stop to her treachery. But for now he let himself be lost in the light banter around him, knowing that no matter what his friends would stand beside him and whatever life would bring, he would not have to face it alone.

After all it was always… One for all….


	2. Divided we Fall

**A.N. Ok it's official. This story has gotten away from me. It was originally supposed to be a two-parter. Now it looks like there are going to be at least four chapters. The rest of the story (I sincerely hope) would be finished by the weekend. Unfortunately no guarantees as to the time though… A huge thank you to everyone who followed, favourited or reviewed the first chapter… You guys made my day.**

 **Sarah (Guest), and the other Guest reviewer, thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts**

 **Here is chapter 2… Enjoy**

"You said her name was Anne". It came as no surprise to anyone that it was D'Artagnan who was the one to get them back to the matter at hand.

Favouring him with an almost fond look, Athos obliged him by continuing with his tale. "Yes. However she was a thief and a criminal. She created a false identity with the intent to deceive me. And it worked. Till Thomas discovered…" here he stopped abruptly.

"So we can safely assume she is not going to be using the name she gave you", Aramis spoke before Athos could trying to spare him any embarrassment at what he would see as a weakness.

"So 'ow do we find her?"

"We could always look for Madame de la Chappelle, although I do believe that name would be just as useless", Aramis' tone was decidedly sarcastic, the frustration of the almost impossible task getting to him. They had no name and if this woman was as good as Athos feared she was - and there was no doubt in his mind that the older Musketeer whilst not scared for his own safety was definitely worried for the rest of them - then it would take a miracle to find her.

"Madame de la Chappelle?" As usual it was D'Artagnan's curiosity which broke an almost awkward silence.

This time Aramis was the one who looked at him fondly. "Ah yes! The lovely Madame de la Chappelle from the trial of Ninon de la Roc. I forgot you were not present at the monastery. You were with the beautiful Madame Bonacieux at that time", he finished seemingly not noticing the grimace flitting across the youngster's face at the mention of Constance.

Athos decided to intervene before D'Artagnan could rise to the marksman's bait. "She gave false evidence against Ninon accusing her of witchcraft and I have no doubt it was she who obtained the confession under duress".

"Why?" asked the youngster from Gascony before answering his own question. "Ah the Cardinal. Of course".

"Yes" Athos confirmed once again favouring his protégé with a smile.

"So how do we find her Athos?" the young man asked his mentor repeating Porthos' question from earlier.

"We do so by finding her current identity".

"But we have no idea what that is", Aramis countered.

"That is true, however I have no doubt that Anne is not done with us yet. She will come for me and when she does we will have our opportunity to catch her". Athos told them in his usual stoic tone as if he was addressing nothing more than the weather.

"You want to use yourself as bait?" Porthos questioned the disbelief evident in his voice. "Are you crazy?" he almost roared the next minute producing a flinch from both D'Artagnan and Aramis.

Athos however had not moved a muscle. "Yes I do want to use myself as bait and no I'm not crazy", he answered calmly.

"Porthos is right Athos. This could be dangerous. I mean she did try to kill you once in Pinon", D'Artagnan was the one who intervened this time trying to get the leader of their company to see reason. Athos however was well known for his stubbornness. "I was unprepared for her last time. I will not be so this time. Besides I will have all three of you to watch my back", even as he said this with conviction his eyes displayed his true emotions. He still wondered how they could stand by him after knowing everything.

"Of course my friend. We will always be there to protect you", Aramis told him softly.

"'ow do you even know it's her?" The question came from the ever practical Porthos. "I mean sure I'm willing to take your word for it. But 'ow didja find out who it was?"

Athos hesitated. It was clear that he still hadn't told them all his secrets. The silence lasted a good amount of time for Porthos to almost begin regretting his question. He was about to tell the older Musketeer to not bother answering when Athos threw something at him. The big man caught it instinctively and found that the older Musketeer had given him a locket.

"Open it", was the quiet command and Porthos obeyed. "Forget-me-nots?" asked Aramis having come to stand behind Porthos to see what it was he held. Then realising the importance of the flower, "Ah! Just like the box in Gallagher's saddle bags".

"They were her favourite flowers", Athos confirmed.

"Forget-me-nots?" the question came from D'Artagnan this time the note of fear clear in his tone.

"Yeah, that's what's in 'ere. Why?" Porthos asked him confused.

"D'Artagnan?" Athos questioned softly the concern in his voice evident.

Beads of sweat had appeared on the young man's forehead and his dark, healthy skin-tone had become pale, almost white. He swallowed and posed the question again. "Forget-me-nots?" only this time it came as a gasp more than anything else.

Athos' face displayed open confusion as did the others', but D'Artagnan seemed as if he had lost his voice and could do nothing to allay their bewilderment. Instead he stood up almost swaying dangerously before walking over to the trash can in the corner of the room and puked his guts out.

When it seemed like he was almost going to fall into his own vomit a hand at his back steadied him. "Easy", soothed his mentor's voice, even as he was pulled back into his strong arms. "Here. Drink this", Aramis held a goblet of water in front of him and D'Artagnan obeyed. "Slow sips", the medic ordered gently when it seemed as if the Gasconian was going to gulp down the contents of the goblet to soothe his stinging throat.

When he was done Aramis took the goblet back from him and Athos guided him to the only bed in the room. "Sit", he ordered gently almost pushing him down on it and moving to kneel in front of him.

D'Artagnan did as ordered although he wouldn't meet the eyes of anyone else. When it was clear that the youngster was not going to look at them or say anything, Athos grasped the other man's chin gently pulling his head up trying to catch his eyes. However his protégé only flinched and pulled back from the contact. Tears pooled in his eyes and he refused any sort of contact with any of them pulling back hugging his knees and tucking his chin on top of them. At the moment he looked like a small scared child than a brave soldier and a King's Musketeer. And it was cleared that what or rather who he feared were the three men in the room.

Trying to ignore the stab in his chest when D'Artagnan had pulled back, a concerned Athos stood up and looked at the other two. All they could offer was a shrug of their shoulders. It seemed they were as ignorant as he was. Sighing he realized that the only one who could answer what was going on with him was the youngster himself. Loathe as he was to put him through any further pain Athos knew he had to get some answers. "D'Artagnan look at me please", he asked gently and when that produced no effect, his tone changed to one of command. "Look at me", he repeated and this time the youngster did so, a soldier's instinct telling him to obey his commanding officer.

Even as he met Athos' eyes his lips started pleading on their own accord. "I'm so sorry… I had no… Athos you have to trust me… I didn't know. I didn't know", he repeated his hands clenching and unclenching almost compulsively.

"Didn't know what?" Athos' tone had gone back to being soft. Once he again he had knelt in front of the youngster and taken his face in his hand and this time D'Artagnan let him, his eyes almost pleading with his mentor to believe him. "I didn't know who she was when I met her", he offered almost in a whisper.

Once again stunned silence greeted another damning pronouncement. For a moment, just for a moment Athos' eyes retained their gentleness before they became almost glacial and the older man stood up moving away from the bed and turning his back on the youngest Musketeer.

"You know Anne", his voice was so cold that D'Artagnan flinched. When no answer was forthcoming Athos turned back towards the young man and raised an eyebrow his features still cold. All the other Musketeer could do was nod timidly.

"'ow?" This time it was Porthos who questioned him.

"It was… I…" he stuttered, however it was Aramis who put the pieces together. "She's your mysterious benefactor".

"Yes", was all he could manage.

"Wait if she's working for the cardinal why would she help you become a Musketeer?" was the almost thoughtful question from the marksman.

A shrug of the shoulders was the only answer D'Artagnan was capable of giving. He was wondering the same thing himself. Athos however knew how his wife's mind worked and knew her intentions had been to break the Musketeers from the inside using D'Artagnan. He refrained from voicing his theory out loud for the present. Despite the almost uncontrollable anger he felt, he had no intentions of hurting the man who had become family to him. A younger brother. Just like Thomas. Someone else Anne had hurt. And all to get to him.

Guilt, overwhelming guilt threatened to crush his soul. He needed to get out of here. Needed to escape this room where his past and present were merging. Mocking voices inside his head were telling him that he had once again failed to protect a brother from Anne's clutches. Only this time she would take his soul instead of his life. For Athos knew D'Artagnan and knew him well enough to know that the Gasconian was too much like him. He would feel the same crushing guilt Athos himself felt; the same sense of responsibility; the fear that he had let his family, his brothers down. And the nobleman knew that he was the only one who could reassure him that the man had no reason to bear so heavy a burden. Yet knowing all of this he could offer no comfort. He seemed to have nothing left to say; nothing to give.

A hand on his shoulder stopped his self-flagellation and Athos realized that it was the lighter one of the Gasconian. The youngster was reaching out to him offering him comfort, reversing their roles. He turned back to face his three brothers once more and saw the empathy and understanding in their eyes. Thankfully there was no pity. He was not so sure he could handle that.

Gently but firmly Athos removed D'Artagnan's hand from his shoulder, pretended not to notice the flinch from the youngster and walked out of the room.


	3. All for One

**A.N. Finally finished. Yes I know I was going to make this a longer one but I'm afraid I'm under a bit of time constraint here. So the shorter version of what I had planned is this chapter. I may still write a sequel to this but that won't be finished before next year I don't think as I'm planning at least a ten chapter story and I won't have time to write for a while with all my classes. So the last chapter to the story and I'm afraid still not much of Treville… Hope you enjoy… Thank you all for your wonderful support and reviews… They more than anything else helped me finish the story…**

The minute the door closed behind Athos, Aramis and Porthos held another silent conversation. Aramis tipped his head towards a still stunned D'Artagnan who seemed to be silently staring at the door as if willing with just his gaze to wish the man back. Porthos sighed at the state of the young man, then gathered his weapons and Athos' sword before walking out the door following his leader out into the night.

The noise of wood against wood a second time seemed to bring the youngest Musketeer out of his trance-like state. D'Artagnan turned with purpose seemingly to gather his own weapons and follow his brothers but a gentle hand on his arm stopped him. He turned around almost angrily and was about to dislodge the hand stopping him from following his heart, however the look in Aramis' eyes stopped him. Instead his shoulders slumped and he walked back towards the bed sitting down on it in much the same manner as earlier, his knees drawn in what Aramis was beginning to understand was a position he assumed when he was truly afraid.

For a moment he did not know what to say to the Gasconian, however the healer in him took over and the next minute he strode towards the bed and as he had done with the mentor earlier, he gathered the protégé into his arms. And just as earlier he was rebuffed once before the young man allowed himself to accept the comfort offered. They stayed that way neither of them knew how long when a knock on the door brought them back from inside their heads.

Aramis knew it was neither Athos nor Porthos; after all the formed owned the place and the latter didn't ever bother when it came to one of their lodgings. Considering the lateness of the hour he knew that there could only be one man on the other side. Sighing he got up, walked over and upon opening the door was not entirely surprised to find the captain. He stepped aside to let the man in.

Treville on walking in was surprised to see neither Porthos nor Athos in the rooms. From what he knew when they parted at the palace he had been told they would be in Athos' rooms at the garrison discussing a strategy to find and somehow turn the Cardinal's assassin against him. The captain of the Musketeers silently took in the scene before him – the hunched form of D'Artagnan, the remnants of a well-eaten dinner and the two bottles of wine of which he was willing to bit his second-in-command had consumed the most. Turning back to Aramis, Treville found that the marksman was watching him keenly if somewhat warily. Something was seriously wrong and he didn't need a court astrologer to tell him that whatever it was had to do with Athos. D'Artagnan would not look so lost otherwise.

"Where is he?" was the question he posed to Aramis, who knew that the he in question was definitely not Porthos. He was about to open his mouth to answer when he was saved by the man himself.

"Where is who?" returned Athos in his normal stoic tones.

Twin gazes were directed at the older Musketeer; one in relief the other in hope, however if Athos noticed anything they could not read it on his face. In fact D'Artagnan realised with a sinking feeling that he could not read the older man at all. That fact alone more than anything else shocked him to the core.

True Athos was not someone who displayed his emotions on his face. His upbringing as a comte meant that he had been taught to suppress his feelings, maintaining a calm façade on the outside no matter what the situation. The first few weeks D'Artagnan had been at the garrison he had not been comfortable in the presence of the older man as he had never known what he was thinking. In fact it was only after the disastrous mission with Vadim that he had even realised that the other man was not as cold as he seemed and actually cared about him enough and wanted him around. After that their relationship seemed to progress by leaps and bounds and slowly D'Artagnan learned to read his friend. And after Pinon it was as if Athos himself had lifted some sort of barrier to allow D'Artagnan the key to his thoughts and emotions.

But now there was nothing. It was if the last few months had never happened, or worse yet they had travelled back to that day in the past when they had fought to avenge the death of Alexandre D'Artagnan. Only this time he was the one who was guilty.

D'Artagnan knew Athos well enough to know that the man lived for honour. Without it he felt he had nothing. That was the sole reason in fact for him to have ordered the execution of the woman he had loved more than life itself. And he feared that, the same honour would cause Athos to hate him. To exclude him from the brotherhood he shared with the other three. And if that happened… D'Artagnan could not even imagine a life beyond the Musketeers. If Athos decided he could no longer serve alongside him… He felt his breath quicken… No. He could not let that happen. He had to…

"Breathe", a gentle voice commanded, even as a hand rubbed soothing circles on his back but for once D'Artagnan seemed unable to obey the order given. Instead he felt spots dancing in front of his vision and his stomach once again lurched uncomfortably. "C'mon D'Artagnan, you have to breathe", the voice sounded more urgent now. D'Artagnan wanted to tell the voice that he was trying but that he was unable to do so because of the tight band around his chest that he could not for all his efforts seem to loosen.

"Aramis", the voice called to the healer urgently.

"He is just panicking Athos. Talk to him. Get him to breathe", the other voice responded.

"You heard Aramis. Listen to me. Just listen to the sound of my voice. Breathe D'Artagnan. Just breathe. In and out. In and out. Just breathe". Slowly but surely D'Artagnan felt the tight band around his chest lighten as he was able to take one breath after another. "Ath's", he mumbled as he felt the hand still rubbing soothing circles on his back and he all but leaned on his mentor, suddenly unable to hold himself upright. "Shhh. Just breathe", was the soft reply. "'m Ok", he managed to mumble again trying to pull himself upright, but a slight pressure on his back told him to stay put. And he was content to stay that way for a bit longer because he knew that Athos would never again give him this comfort…Never again would he be allowed to… He felt his breathing quicken at that thought…

"Shh. Don't think. It's all right. It's all right", Athos' gentle voice commanded and the hand on his back moved to hold him around his shoulders as the man all but hugged him with one arm. "It's all right D'Artagnan. I'm not upset. It's all right", even as he said that D'Artagnan once again felt himself breathe much better.

When had this man become so important to him that the mere thought of him not being around could send him into a panic attack he wondered. When had this life, the one he had never planned for, become everything to him? His brothers, his comrade in arms, the Musketeers, they were all he had and he vowed to himself that he would not let them go without a fight. He would not let Milady win. He would make Athos see reason, explain everything to him and if at the end of it all if Athos still did not want him around he would find Milady himself and make sure she was no longer a threat to his brothers. He owed them that much.

Feeling his resolve strengthen he brought his own hands up against the older Musketeer's shoulder and squeezed it gently before attempting to move away again. And this time Athos let him only to at the last minute palm his face and turn it towards himself. D'Artagnan met the other man's eyes with a shy, tentative smile. And was delighted to be offered a slight upturn of one corner of the mouth in return. Slowly he turned towards the others in the room somewhat surprised to find that the captain was not there anymore. He was sure he remembered the other man walk in.

"Captain Treville is content to wait till the morning for our report", Aramis answered the unspoken question. "Are you all right", he asked him gently.

Unsure of how steady his voice would be all D'Artagnan could do was nod. A snort was his only answer telling him he was not believed. He did not seem to have any energy left to be offended. Instead his eyes went back down as he wondered how to begin.

"I 'ate to ask this once again but how can you be sure it's the same woman", Porthos questioned.

"The flower", D'Artagnan's voice was unsurprisingly hoarse and Aramis winced at its quality before fetching him a glass of water. "Plus", here he hesitated as he took a sip of the cold liquid before his mentor's hand on his arm forced him to continue "I saw the scar on her neck". The arm was removed and D'Artagnan felt its loss keenly as if it was one of his own limbs which had gone missing. "She told me she had been given that scar by the man she loved", he finished his voice trembling slightly. "I never realised what it all meant till today. Even after Pinon I never thought to…" his voice wavered then stopped.

"When I said it was not your fault my intention was not just to offer you comfort", Athos began. "I meant it", he continued his voice growing decisive even as D'Artagnan looked up with so much hope in his eyes. Those eyes were almost his undoing even as Athos wondered if D'Artagnan knew how much he meant to him, how much he meant to all of them.

"Anne is a very smart and cunning woman. Once she knew you were with us she would have done all in her power to manipulate you", he added before he was interrupted by the younger man.

"No. You don't understand. I met her before I met you. I…" here he trailed off but Aramis once again filled the gap.

"You were lovers"

Shame filled D'Artagnan's entire being and he lacked the courage to look up at the others. "Yes", he all but whispered then continued with his tale recounting every meeting.

"So she never told you explicitly that she worked for the Cardinal", Aramis questioned him his tone thoughtful. "No. But it is her. Of that I'm sure".

"And you said her name was Milady".

"Milady de Winter. That's the name she gave Constance", he added unable to stop the grimace everytime he thought of the woman who had stolen his heart. And then broke it to pieces, his mind told him. "Constance told me she frightened her", he added voice thoughtful.

"And she voluntarily gave you the entry fee to compete in the tournament".

"Yes she said she had taken an interest in me and wanted me to succeed. But why would she…" he trailed off again. "It makes no sense. She warned me against joining the Musketeers once earlier", he added his eyes meeting that of his mentor's. "What is it Athos?" he asked the older man at the resigned look on his face.

"Athos", Porthos questioned once it became clear that D'Artagnan would go unanswered.

"She was hoping to turn you against me", Athos held D'Artagnan's eyes as he spoke concentrating on him and only him. "I once told you, you were more like me than you knew. Anne spotted that too. She was going to use your sense of honour into manipulating you into killing me". At this D'Artagnan's breathing quickened as he recognised the truth in his mentor's words. After all hadn't he himself offered to kill the man who…

"D'Artagnan look at me please", the quiet request from Athos stopped his wandering thoughts. Meeting the older man's eyes he relaxed considerably when he realised he could read him again. Athos was looking at him… Wait his eyes held guilt. "No", he told him firmly, "If you blame yourself for this I will never forgive myself. None of this was your fault. Athos please", he added when his words seem to have no effect, "You said it yourself. Your wife planned this".

"Yes", Athos conceded before adding, "In her quest to avenge me. Don't you see", his voice barely a whisper his rage and self-loathing evident, "She used you because you were close to me. She did everything in her power to rip us apart. You all would have been put in danger simply because you associated yourself with me".

"You know that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth". Porthos countered angry himself. "You seem to have forgotten we're Musketeers. We're in danger every single day with or without your wife's actions. 'eah she seemed to have caused a lo' of problems lately but it's not nothing we can't handle. But we can only do this if you stop this stupid stuff and get back to what we originally came here for tonight. Now we have a name, we find her an' put a stop to her".

"Well said Porthos my friend", Aramis commented. Then turning mischievous eyes to mentor and protégé, "Allow me to reiterate my earlier opinion. You. Are. Fools. Both of you", he finished with a grand smile.

Athos and D'Artagnan just looked at each other giving each other resigned smiles. They recognised the validity if their friends' words. Aramis and Porthos were right. They had a name, now they needed a way to find her and stop her from causing any further pain.

Porthos recognising the look on their faces just stood up and held a fisted hand forward. "All for one", he said with a smile.

"One for all", the rest of them intoned.


End file.
